Saturday 2 February 2013

Strictly Off Limits & Girls Code

Last night was a night of semi-drunkenness where no kissing was involved for a change!
True, there were 2 boys that caught my eye.
One of them was wearing a really fit grey cardigan (there's something about guys in cardigans; huminahuminahumina-aaahhh) and he recognised me from when I was passed out at the last party I went to (I'm still hanging my head in shame at that by the way - that is not how us Grammar Gals usually act!!!).
Cardigan Boy had a fit protective vibe about him, and he let me share his seat when the German Exchange stole mine. What a cutie.
The second boy was Curly-Haired Guy, who was funny and had dark hair (woo! I've had enough of blonds!!). He made me laugh whilst we were playing the drinking game, and we got on really well. True, he's not really my type in the Looks Department (remember, chums, I'm only attracted to guys that aren't great looking to the normal teenage eye - a.k.a. David Cameron is my idea of a Sex God. Think I might vote Conservative when I'm older just because I love him.). But he was really funny - and I love funny guys. And he was tall, and more padded out than Cardigan Boy.
But Cardigan boy and I did have some laughs, too. I royally Cocked-Up a potentially romantic moment with Cardigan boy which is so annoying! We were side-by-side looking at a photo on the wall and he said "where would you say this is?" And I blurted out "St Paul's Cathedral?" Depite the fact that there were gondolas, wooden sticks, a beautiful river and it was so obviously VENICE. He laughed and the romantic moment was gone.
Oh, and some of the knobhead posh boys got me to tell the German Exchanges that "I'm horny" - in German. People do take advantage of my naivety (I thought I was saying "Welcome to England"...!)
BUT
(you knew a but was coming)
Unfortunately, both Cardigan boy and Curly-haired boy were Strictly Off Limits.
Cardigan Boy was really hitting it off with my friend who went to his primary school, so I though something could happen there and didn't want to stand in the way.
I didn't know Curly-haired boy's name for most of the night until I spoke with my friend, who has kissed him at previous parties. She told me that he was the guy she had snogged on numerous occasions, and it became clear to me that I had to follow the Girl's Code:

***

GIRLS CODE RULES
1. No dating girl friend's older brother (or younger, but that goes without saying)
2. No dating girl friend's ex boyfriends
3. No dating girl friend's boys they have snogged at parties i.e. if one of my friends dated Tree it would bother me, even though I don't fancy him. It's just part of the female DNA - a.k.a. our Girl Code that is encoded within us all.
4. If a friend is dumped, one must drop all plans, buy a ton of sweets and go over right away
5. If a girl friend asks if you like her boyfriend always say yes - even if you're telling porkies
6. No snogging a boy that you know your friend likes (incidentally, the girl who got off with Curly-haired boy is the same girl who got off with Z when I had a crush on him  )
7. If a girl friend asks if she has put on any weight always say no.
8. If a girl friend asks what you think of her ex's new girlfriend, always stick to the following: "ugly", "awful personality", "nothing compared to you", "secretly an alien".


***

Therefore, although he was cute, and he has my number (which he naturally hasn't texted - I am, as always, Unlucky In Love. Although we did speak via Facebook last night) he is Strictly Off Limits.
So we're back to Square One!
Oh well, it was a fun and eventful night, which makes a nice change from my nights spent bonding with my post-its...
Keep you posted,
Grammar Gal xxx

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